Postcards To Home
by PhilosophicalCats
Summary: HAHA YES! SEQUEL TO MELANCHOLY MIRACLES! Still in Tavros' P.O.V! The next part of the story for the remaining four is just beginning
1. Just Fine

Fine… Just…fine…

Worried looks filled the room, it wasn't the same.

They stared, questioning to themselves.

But we didn't care.

We were used to it.

_"But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you…Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear…"_

I can still hear her in the back of my head telling me we'd all make it out of here.

That everything would be fine.

Just…fine.

_She lied._

He walked by my side; they stayed together in fear of losing another.

_"So tell me now. If this ain't love then how do we get out?"_

We only knew fear. It was how we grew together. They put us here to get better, but they only made it worse.

Here we sit. Back in that room.

We have changed, but not for the better.

It's been one of those days where I wish I could still feel my legs. Just so I could stand up in the middle of this crowded room and have a meltdown in front of everyone. Just to shake things up for everyone. We've all been there. We all know what it feels like to finally snap.

It means even more when you finally see someone lose it for the first time. Even after they promised they wouldn't.

When they finally realized you don't have a choice, that this is all some kind of game to see who lasts the longest.

We all lose in the end.

We all give up.

We were raised in a world where you got locked away if you acted differently. We were sent away to be changed, to make us "normal." We learned those who adapt to the change get hurt.

We learned to resist.

We were sent away to be fixed. We found each other instead of a solution. We all had names we never used. We all know why we're here.

That was two years ago.


	2. Watch Us Now

_"This is the valley where animals live. Stresses like wind to a man on a bridge."_

Everyday someone dies. And everyday someone new comes.

They always look frightened; frightened, but hopeful. Like they actually have some kind of clue what's coming to them, and they think they'll actually leave. _Pathetic. _

Gamzee sits beside me; we're back in that room again. Funny how it's just _"the room" _and everyone knows what it is. We're the oldest ones here now.

Not in age, of course. _Residency._ We've been here barely three years and we're the oldest here. Says a lot about this place.

Terezi and Equius sit across from us. They haven't smiled since Nepeta left.

They haven't smiled in two years.

We speak, but it's never the same.

Gamzee is…haunted, by the memories. He tells me he's woken up crying before. He lashes out a lot now, too. He's gotten detained at least fifty times in the last month alone. He's hurt half the staff by now.

Terezi…she doesn't talk much anymore; only speaking when spoken to. Nurses have to force her from her room, now. She doesn't like being pushed. I remember her slamming her hands on the desk in the hall and yelling "I hate everyone. I hate EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU."

And…then there's Equius. He's always been quiet. He only ever smiled when Nepeta came into the room and greeted us. He used to time her. "Every day at 1:30pm her nurse would bring her into the rec room. Every day at 1:35pm she'd run up to me and hug me. Every day at 1:36pm she'd greet the rest of the group, asking if anyone was missing. Every…single…day…" I still see him look at the clock. Every time he gives the same pained smile that screams "I miss you." Other than that… He doesn't even make eye contact. Just comes in, sits in the same seat, and leaves two hours later without a word.

I remember when I used to be scared of him.

And me? Gamzee has told me I looked like I'm always thinking, constantly troubled. To be honest, I feel like it. This isn't the easiest thing to deal with, you know. My only two friends have shut down completely and my boyfriend is on the brink of insanity.

I can't even see straight half the time, let alone think. I'm losing my mind, I can feel it. I started throwing things last week. First little things like pens and balled up paper, and it gradually got bigger.

I hit my nurse with a chair the other day, and I can't count how many times I've flipped over a table or two before wheeling myself out of the room.

I've come to realize there's a reason we're all here, and it's not because we're trolls from another planet.

_We're risks._


	3. All Around Me Are Familiar Faces

_I'm still not sure "risks" is the right word, but it will have to do for now._

Gamzee had sat on my lap again, snuggling himself into my neck. Our nurses sat near us, a bit wary to stop him. He was…violent; especially when it came to me. _Over protective _sounds a bit better. I smiled at the thought, wrapping my arms around him.

"Someone new is here. I can smell it. It…seems familiar." All heads turned towards Terezi. She sat, hands in her lap.

"There's more than one." A thick accent, deeper than usual. Equius sat next to her, head in his arms on the table. Shock seemed to fill the room at the sound of his voice. It had been so long since he spoke…_I could barely remember what his voice sounded like. _

As if on cue, two nurses stepped into the room, guiding in two new patients. Everything seemed to stand still.

Faces were matched to voices, and voices given names. For the first time, I began to agree with Terezi. Something seemed familiar.

_"Try not to mistake what you have with what you hate. It could leave; it could leave, come the morning."_

_"Everyone, please welcome Kaden and Victioria."_

A mumble, "fuckass" and a devious chuckle.

A boy and a girl were guided to the corner opposite from us, right where Gamzee started.

The boy, Kaden, had short black hair and a permanent scowl. He looked abnormally young. The girl, Victoria, wore an eye patch, partially covered by black hair that reached her back.

I knew that face; that sickening smirk.

"Vriska?!" The name was nearly a scream, the girls head snapping in my direction.

"Holy fuck Tav!" She laughed before pulling the boy in our direction.

"Karkat bro!" Gamzee practically squealed, hopping off my lap to give the protesting boy a hug.

After much protest, Gamzee had settled back in my lap, the other two taking seats around the table. Terezi had spoken up again, mostly to Vriska than anyone else.

I was worried about Gamzee's reaction to Vriska, he had heard the story of how I'd been paralyzed, and he'd said many times he hated her for it. Given his current state, there was no promising he'd behave when she's around.

But Karkat seemed to keep him entertained for now.

After two hours of Karkat's insults, Vriska's teasing, Terezi actually smiling, Equius talking again, and the feeling of laughter finally coming back, everything felt good for once.

But I knew nothing had really changed. It was just for a moment. A moment of excitement.

It wouldn't last.

_"Celebrate the night; it's the fall before the climb._ _Shall we sing, shall we sing, 'til the morning." _


	4. I Don't Care

We played catch up for the next two hours, Vriska and Karkat seemed to settle into the group. Vriska knew Terezi, and Karkat knew all of us. When the topic of Nepeta came up, everyone seemed to shut down.

_"I hate feeling like this…I'm so tired of trying to fight this."_

I guess you could say we all had just accepted it, but whenever it was brought up again…well this happened.

"She died a few years ago." Equius spoke quietly, informing the new comers. It was harder to say than it always seemed, just thinking about it was enough to set Gamzee off nowadays… Which I guess I should then mention he can't stop thinking about it. He's almost killed a few people. I barely see him anymore. He's in danger of being transported now.

_"Your touch is what I'm missing. And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you."_

I guess you could also say I've given up. I'm nowhere near as shy as I was before I came here, and I'm sure as hell not 'normal.'

Did I mention I really don't care anymore? That I've completely shut the world out? That there's only one person who gets anything out of me anymore and he's already borderline insane? Or how about: I'M FUCKING DONE.

I was angrily scribbling words into my notebook when I felt the hand pull my pen from my hands.

"Hey Tav, calm down- What's your deal dude?" Vriska sounded alarmed when my eyes met hers. _I guess Gamz wasn't the only one going insane, huh? _

I snatched my pen back, shoving my now confused boyfriend onto the floor before wheeling myself out of the room, notebook in hand.

I was halfway down the hall when I heard footsteps behind me. They were heavy and unsteady. He called my name, pleading for me to stop and talk to him.

"Go back. Now. I don't want to talk right now Gamzee." My words were harsh, something that never happened when I talked to him. I was supposed to be the innocent one. The only one who didn't end up losing it and killing someone. I was supposed to be the one to get out in the end. But things had changed.

_"But my demons lay in waiting. Tempting me away."_

"I'm not leaving you, so you can motherfuckin' stop saying that." He crouched in front of my chair, a lopsided grin on his face. "Now, want to tell me what's wrong?"

I just shook my head, not having the energy to speak to him.

"I'm just a mess right now, Gamz. I'll be fine. Isn't that what you always tell me?" I stared at him, giving a weak smile. "We'll be fine. Just…fine. That we'll all make it out, right?"

He nodded, standing up again and beginning to wheel me to my room.

"…promise?"

He leaned over the back of my chair, quickly kissing my cheek.

"I promise."


	5. Promise Me

A promise.

That's all it was.

A promise.

Something so simple.

Something so easily broken.

Words put together.

That's it.

It meant nothing when you thought about it.

But for some reason it made you feel better.

April 25, 2014.

Journal Entry 25.

Today is the two year anniversary. I have written 25 entries in this journal since that day two years ago. It is only today that I will show anyone this journal.

We were all called into the rec room earlier today. We, meaning Me, Gamzee, Terezi, Equius, Vriska and Kartkat.

We were told we had mail.

_"And all the people hurried fast, real fast and no one ever smiled…"_

A nurse presented us with a postcard.

It was hand drawn, a pale blue sky with white clouds and a small girl standing on them. She was smiling.

The card was turned over to reveal a message written in bright green ink.

":33 Hello! You asked for a postcard, right? Well, here you go~!

:33 I miss you guys so much but I'm still here even if you can't see me anymore!

:33 I hope you guys are still okay… I see Karkitty joined the group with Vriska!

:33 Oh, and! Equius! Please don't be so sad… I don't like it when you're sad. It makes me sad. Please be happy for me Equi…

:33 Hehe love you guys! 3"

It was Nepeta. No doubt. No one could've known any of the things she mentioned- and we all knew how she drew and wrote for that matter.

I held the card tight in my hands, this was impossibly fantastic!

I saw Terezi smile again, and Equius was, I'm pretty sure, talking to her now.

Karkat was blushing, thinking over the name he gave her while Vriska ranted about how "this is so awesome!"

The postcard was tucked safely into my journal. It would stay there for now, at least until I found a better place for it.

The weeks that followed were…different. Different meaning everyone was so much…better than before. Terezi had greeted me with that grin again, and my god Equius was SMILING. ALL ON HIS OWN. Gamzee hadn't hurt anyone lately so he was let out a lot more now, too. Everything was…calmer.

It's funny how something so simple…so small and changeable could do so much for someone. Just words on a page, it should mean nothing.

But it meant everything.


End file.
